David

My first attempt at poetry so please let me know where I can improve. thanks.


David; you will always be loved
And will never be forgotten,
Voices will continue to carry you on
In words still unwritten.
Daily and forever with thoughts of you...

Cherished memories we seldom mention,
Here they are to carry us through
Although the hurt it does not lessen.
Roaming thoughts so strong with
Love for you they will not weaken,
Endless moments our hearts will
Seek forever a love that remains unspoken.

Pat Sinclair
Oct 6,2007

alone

2007 has been a year of changes in my life. I have had to adjust as my boys continue to grow and mature.

My baby graduated from high school this year. It seems like yesterday when he started kindergarten and here he is going to college in a completely different state. You can only image the thoughts that travel through a mothers mind when she is taking her son miles away so he has a chance to grow on his own. I want him to succeed and grow but on the other hand I still want him to depend on me for his very existence.

I have been a mother for over twenty-one years and a single mother for over sixteen. Now I am supposed to be an absentee mother with no real say in her children's lives. I will just be here when they need someone to talk to or a safe haven to come to. I will be whatever is necessary to be part of their lives.

With my youngest living so far away I am depending on my oldest son to let me continue to be needed without being in charge. He is my grounding force but with graduation coming up in less than a year his four years in college is coming to an end. He too will soon be leaving and I will really be alone; although with his school and work I seem to be on alone already.

How do I continue when my reason for being no longer needs me on a daily basis? I will have to adjust and learn to depend on myself and be there for myself. I have to learn to put myself first but that will take some time as my children will always be first in my life. I can hardly wait to see what the rest of the year holds for us.
 
Pat Sinclair
Sep 30 2007

feelings - after the loss of a loved one

I just sat there staring at the phone in my hand; the voice at the other end was asking me if I was all right. How could I ever be all right again? The voice had just informed me that my mother had died and even though I had expected the call it still took me by surprise. I finally managed to say I was fine and as I slowly returned the handset to its cradle I started feeling again.

I felt so alone standing there; not just because I was the only person in the room but because my grounding force had been removed. I no longer had my mother, the only parent I had known, good and bad she was my guide to life. Here I was a wife and a mother, with two beautiful little boys and another one on the way, but I felt so alone.

I felt sad as I knew she would not be there for the birth of her last grandchild. I would never see her smile again and listen to her laugh as she told us stories of when she was young. No more anything but memories; how could life stop that fast?

I felt scared because now it was up to myself and my brothers to be the guiding generation. How can we be responsible when we haven't even finished growing up yet.  Older generations are needed to lean on and learn from and we now have no one.

Pat Sinclair
Sep 8 2007

To my descendents

This is a letter I wrote from the view point of my two sons' ggrandfather.



Good day to you all.

I would have been more specific but, as I have no way of knowing who will read what I have to write, this will have to be good enough. I have been gone a few years by now but I would like for you, my descendents, to know a little about me.

I am Isaac Sinclair and I was born about 1878. Like I said it’s been awhile so you can’t expect me to remember every date. My parents were Lewis S. and Florinda Pierce Sinclair and we lived in the small town of Flora, Ohio. I had a brother, his name was Charles, and we were very close. I lived with him and his family for a while in Pomeroy but I’m jumping ahead a little.

When I was a young man I met the love of my life and we were married. My love was Mary Jeanetta (Nettie) Sloane and she gave me a wonderful family. We had five children who grew to adult hood. After our youngest child, Homer Darsel, was born we separated. It was not my Nettie’s fault as I suffered mightily from headaches and would become extremely mean tempered. I did not hold it against her when she took our children to Athens to live with her uncle. I regretted not being there to watch my children grow up but with my anger from the headaches I new it could not be any other way.

I went to Pomeroy to live with my brother Charles and his family. My mother lived with us there also and with Charles’ family growing I knew I would have to get my own place. I bought a small farm in the same community I had been born into and worked it as best I could.

I developed crippling arthritis and continued having the bad head aches, the pain was unbearable. I was in so much pain it was hard to get through the day without wishing I were dead. One day it got the best of me so I wrote a little note, as I knew Charles would come to check on me as usual, and placed it on the front door. I went back inside the house and got comfortable in my favorite chair. I had my shot gun right there by my side and a long stick because I knew my hands would not work well enough to do the job right. I wanted to make sure I did it right because I did not want to be a burden to my family any longer. I put the barrel of the gun in my mouth and used the stick to pull the trigger.

Now that I am gone I am sorry for leaving all of this on poor Charles. He always took care of and looked out for me; it was not right for him to come to my door only to find a note saying, “You will find my dead body inside”. I am sorry dear brother but I know you will do what is right by my family as you are so much stronger than I ever was.

Well this was my story.  It looks as though you all turned out really well so I will have to give my Nettie all the credit for passing along the love we had for each other. I am sorry I did not get to know you.

Yours truly and forever,
Isaac Elwood Sinclair
1878 - 1930
 
Pat Sinclair
2007 Sep 3

Books

Broken and weary I rest,
Oceans of boredom wash over me,
Only to drain my soul.
Keep me from my pain,
Supply words to quench my thirst.

pat sinclair june 2010

Happy Birthday

How many wishes will come true
Around the time you celebrate?
Perhaps only one or maybe two…
Pretty cards and silken ribbon bind
You to the ones that do.


Beautiful memories of celebrations past
Increase as the day advances.
Rising with the sun to follow along,
Taking you tenderly into the night.
Happiness and friends combine, making music,
Dance away the day while you can
Add to your trail of life, of love and of years.
Years lost to all, but memory.

Pat Sinclair
22 Jun 2010

this prompt was a picture of two little blond girls playing in the yard with a water hose.

“What are you doing?” Sally asked as she snuck up behind her sister.


Susie jumped and almost fell off her stool.

“Nothing,” she said.

“Yes you are, you’re playing without me. Does mommy know you have her good wash tub?”

“Yes,” Sallie lowered her head like she always did when she wasn’t telling the truth.

“Oh are you going to get into trouble when she finds out.”

‘Little sisters’, thought Susie as she tried to come up with something to keep her from getting caught. Sally was only fifteen minutes younger but she acted a lot younger. If she didn’t shut up soon mommy would come out to see what was going on.

Just then Sally picked up the water hose and sprayed her sister, knocking her off the stool. They knew they were going to get caught now; they were rolling around on the wet grass laughing at the top of their lungs.

laughter

A weekend ride through the country was always an experience for our family. We usually never knew where we were going until we got there. No matter how much we pleaded dad wouldn’t say a word. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized he never said because he didn’t know either.


One trip in particular stands out in my mind because it was the day we went flying. Don’t get me wrong it was still a car trip; it just ended up being a very special car trip. We were headed to the lake, out on route 7, to go swimming. Route 7 was a road made up of dips, hills, twists, and turns; it was like riding a roller coaster without seatbelts. Coming out of a dip and topping a hill while increasing speed at the top would make your stomach feel funny. This was something we liked so dad would do it for us when he knew it was clear ahead. Well on this day he took one of the hills in the road a little too fast; all four tires came off the road and we left our seats hitting our heads on the roof. When we landed the air was pushed out of our lungs and we just stared at each other. It was scary at first then Tommy started laughing and couldn’t stop. Soon we were all laughing, including dad who had to slow the car down to keep it on the road.

Hearing my dad laugh that day was awesome!

I am nothing.

I am nothing. I have no name or purpose; I exist only because I am alone. When something invades me I become something also. Take the other day for instance; I was here all alone being nothing when a noise invaded me. The noise was followed by light which cut into me making me darkness. Darkness can not exist in the same space as light so as it grew stronger I became weaker until I had to move away or cease to be. The light became a door and then a floor and when that happened I became a darkened room that was being invaded. Soon I would cease to be until the door closed taking the light with it. Without the invasion of light I would still have no name or purpose. Now though I understand that with out me, darkness, light would have no purpose either.

Picture Writing Prompt - 1 June 2010

"Why that there's my husband," she said as she held her head high with pride, "Quite handsome if I do say so myself"


"Yes Miss Mary he sure is," Millie sat and watched the love in Mary's face as she held the worn photo.

"This here picture was taken the day he graduated from college. Not very many Negros went to college back then. It so happened we lived in a town that was famous for its Negro College and Jasper here was one of the very first graduates," her words weakening as she rested.

Mary fell asleep before telling the rest of the story but Millie had heard if before. It had been a struggle for Jasper and Mary, who had started their family while he was still in school. He sat proudly the day the picture was taken, not because he was special or educated, although that was great. No he sat proud because on that day his beloved Mary had blessed him with a son.


The word Negro is not used in a bad way, I use it because at the time of the picture this word was appropiate.